An open letter to George Lucas

Please note that I do not own Star Wars, nor am I making any money from posting this. This is a work of PARODY.

Dear Mr. Lucas,

Since you are presently writing and revising the script and plans for the next Star Wars movie, you must be extremely busy. In light of this, and the fact that you are now down to a single villain due to the untimely bifurcation of your most physically intimidating creation to date, we have taken it upon ourselves to provide you with some suggestions for Darth Sidious' newest apprentice, and perhaps some expansions of the history of the Sith. Please note that we have done our utmost to maintain your naming scheme for successful dark lords.

• Darth Cite - Dark Lord of Riots
  
• Darth Cisor - Dentist of the Sith
  
• Darth Terstate - Dark Lord of Highways
  
• Darth Cinerate - Waste Management of the Sith
  
• Darth Bred - Dark Lord of Family Trees That Go Straight Up
  
• Darth Ferno - a particularly hot-tempered Dark Lord
  
• Darth Conspicuous, Darth Trigue, and Darth Filtrate - Spies of the Sith
  
• Darth Flation - Economic Advisor of the Sith
  
• Darth Vest - Stockbroker of the Sith
  
• Darth Terest - Banker of the Sith
  
• Darth Cline - Dark Lord of the Mountains
  
• Darth Digo - Purple Lord of the Sith
  
• Darth Continent - Dark Lord of the Nursing Home
  
• Darth Animate - Dark Lord of Tables and Rocks
  
• Darth Cunabulum - Librarian of the Sith
  
• Darth Cense - Dark Lord of Perfume
  
• Darth Centive - Morale Expert of the Sith
  
• Darth Augural - President of the Sith
  
• Darth Terrogate - IRS Agent of the Sith
  
• Darth Cessant - Dark Lord of Not Stopping
  
• Darth Coherent, Darth Telligible, and Darth Articulate - Constant companions of Darth Terpret
  
• Darth Cubate - Dark Lord of Dark, Warm Places
  
• Darth Considerate - Dark Lord of Rudeness
  
• Darth Corporeal - The only Sith Lord to learn to do the translucent ghostly Jedi trick
  
• Darth Corrigible - Dark Lord of Delinquency
  
• Darth Dex - Dark Lord of Organization
  
• Darth Cubus and Darth Decent - Dark Lords of Naughtiness
  
• Darth Dignant - Dark Lord of Snootiness
  
• Darth Dustry - Dark Lord of Progress
  
• Darth Fest and Darth Fect - Dark Lords of Disease and other Icky Things
  
• Darth Gredient - Gourmet Chef of the Sith
  
• Darth Fant - Youngest Sith recruit ever
  
• Darth Sulin - Diabetic of the Sith
  
• Darth Taglio - Artist of the Sith
  
• Darth Corporate - Business Manager of the Sith
  
• Darth Crement - Dark Lord who is Marginally Better Than the Last Dark Lord
  
• Darth Dubitable - Sherlock Holmes of the Sith
  
• Darth Gest - Cannibal of the Sith
  
• Darth Struct - Teacher of the Sith
  
• Darth Vective - Dark Lord of Bad Words
  
• Darth Vert - Bat of the Sith
  
• Darth Congruous - Happy Lord of the Sith
  
• Darth Clude - Dark Lord of Teamwork
  
• Darth Vite - Party Host of the Sith
  
• Darth Amorata - Don Juan of the Sith
  
• Darth Candescent - Bright Lord of the Sith
  
• Darth Sult and Darth Sinuate - Dark Lords of Taunts
  
• Darth Vidious - Darth Sidious' cooler-sounding twin
  
• Darth Stall, Darth Accessible, Darth Tel, Darth Put - The ILM/Microsoft Tech Support Dream Team
  
• Darth Ane, Darth Capable, Darth Ept, Darth Consistent, Darth Dividual, Darth Appropriate, Darth Convenient, Darth Adequate, Darth Competent, Darth Decisive, Darth Ferior, Darth Grate, Darth Souciance, Darth Correct, Darth Effective, and Darth Sipid - Past failed apprentices of Darth Sidious