An open letter to George Lucas

I wrote this in cahoots with my two roommates, back in June 1999, shortly after the debut of Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace. We were tired, on a road trip, and stuck in traffic that was trying to cross the Tappan Zee Bridge over the Hudson. I recently unearthed it again, and I hope it entertains, despite the recent advent of Attack of the Clones and its new Darth.

Please note that I do not own Star Wars, nor am I making any money from posting this. This is a work of PARODY.

Dear Mr. Lucas,

Since you are presently writing and revising the script and plans for the next Star Wars movie, you must be extremely busy. In light of this, and the fact that you are now down to a single villain due to the untimely bifurcation of your most physically intimidating creation to date, we have taken it upon ourselves to provide you with some suggestions for Darth Sidious' newest apprentice, and perhaps some expansions of the history of the Sith. Please note that we have done our utmost to maintain your naming scheme for successful dark lords.

Thank you for your time.