Party Monster

This story came out of the LiveJournal writing meme. One of my friends requested the character, topic, and line of dialogue, and I had to produce 500 words about it. I wasn't sure how it would go. I'm pleased with the result.

Character: Invader Zim
Topic: A lesbian bachlorette party.
Line: "Excuse me for saying anything, but are those trout in your shoes?"

Zim was steaming. Literally. The pain was annoying.

He ran around in circles, because it seemed the thing to do.

The Earth-worm-monsters stared at him, then pointed and laughed.

Dib snickered, advancing, his newest weapon ready to fire again. It had drained half the city's river for the first shot, of course, but that was a small price to pay while saving the Earth.

Zim paused, staring, then staged a strategic withdrawal into the city.

"HEY!" Dib ran after the alien's speeding form, only to reach the end of his hose-tether and get snapped to the ground.

The other kids stared at him, then pointed and laughed.

Zim leaned against the corner, arms pressed against the brick wall, breathing hard. "Think, Zim! Think!"

The pounding of loud music in a nearby basement attracted him. He moved to investigate. "AHA! A party!" He rubbed his hands together. "I shall blend SEAMlessly into the party! Dib will never find me."

He pelted down the stairs and pounded on the door. "EnTRANCE! I demand enTRANCE!"

The door opened. A wall of bald, tattooed, leather-clad muscle stood in the door. She looked around. Then she looked down at where Zim was pounding on her armored kneecap. "Yo," she said around the toothpick in her mouth.

"Let me IN, human monster! I, ZIM!, am prepared to PAR-TAY!"

She looked at Zim.

He looked at her. Smiled ingratiatingly.

She looked down. "Excuse me for saying anything, but are those trout in your shoes?"

Zim looked down. A pair of trout flopped despairingly where they stuck out of his shoes. "Huh," he said. "That river DID have life in it after all." He looked back up. "But no matTER! I will party hearty now."

"You a friend of the bride-to-be, or the bride-to-be?" she inquired.

"Uhhmm." Zim thought, lightning-fast. "The BRIDE-TO-BE!"

"Thought so," she replied, and stood aside. He marched into music so loud the walls jolted with every stinking noise.

The room was full of women. Women of all shapes and sizes. Women who drank and women who smoked. Women who leaned suggestively over the punch bowl, and women who rolled their eyes. Women who...

"MS. BITTERS????" Zim shrieked.

"ZIM?" Ms. Bitters exclaimed, zooming fluidly out of the cake from which she'd just emerged. "YOU SAW NOTHING."

Zim exited the party, powered by a Doc Marten, in a perfect parabola that landed him, and the trout, back in the river. He shrieked and paddled around hopelessly as the episode ended.