The Very Secret Diary of Saionji Kyouichi

Day 1: I'm engaged! I rule!

Day 2: Anthy is very beautiful! I rule!

Day 3: Anthy is skilled in flower arranging. How feminine! How wonderful! I rule!

Day 4: Anthy is so passive, so quiet, so pliant... the Perfect Wife! I rule!

Day 5: Anthy and I have made vows of eternal love! I rule!

Day 6: Anthy and I are spending every moment together, and we look so good. I rule!

Day 7: Some little pink-haired dyke beat me in a duel today because she somehow snuck superglue into my underpants! Anthy went to be with her! Life sucks!

Day 8: Challenged pinko dyke to another duel to win back Anthy. Lost again. She cheated by being hopped up on some drug that levitated her and made sparkly lights flash in front of her face. She sucks!

Day 9: Sulking.

Day 11: Sulking some more.

Day 13: Added some brooding.

Day 14: Gave diary to Anthy today, ordering her to tell me her true feelings in it.

Day 20: Not sure what's been happening. Surely I've been brooding somewhere. Where did all these banana peels come from?

Day 23: Brooding over flashbacks of youth with Touga. Maybe we did too many drugs.

Day 24: Got mash note from End of World. Somehow ended up floating face-down in pond when took Anthy to arena. Ran up damn stairs to arena and oxygen dep caused hallucination of giant-sized version of that damned mouse-monkey-thing. Somehow hit Touga with sword. Feel pretty good about it, actually.

Day 25: Ignobly cast out of my rightful destiny! Life sucks!

Day 26: Have realized that I can't find my way home. Do I even have parents?

Day 27: Cannot cope with mind-breaking poverty and horror of the streets. No time to brood or sulk. Store and home-owners keep chasing me off property. Off to schmooze one of the chicks who used to write me mash notes!

Day 39: Have returned to my rightful destiny! I rule!

Day 40: Hid behind greenhouse door today when I saw that chick I stayed with. She gave me a funny look. Note to self: greenhouse door is made of glass.

Day 42: Another mash note from End of World. End of World getting crass and desperate. Not dueling again!

Day 43: Touga showed up with shirt open. He's kinda hot that way. End of World asked to take pictures next time.

Day 44: Pinko dyke beat me again! Anthy helped her win. Think Anthy may be kinda gay.

Day 50: Yanked sword out of Touga's chest. Strangely more fulfilling than with Anthy.

Day 54: Sidecars don't really have enough room for two. Have bad bruises on both knees, forehead.

Day 55: What's End of the World's thing about cacti? Photo session otherwise good when bleeding stopped.

Day 56: Exhibitionism on Student Council balcony really fun until Juri and Miki showed up with the firehose.

Day 58: Touga and I had sword match. He won. Nanami made tea.

Day 59: Touga and I had another sword match. He won. Nanami made tea.

Day 60: Touga and I had damned sword match. He won. Nanami made tea.

Day 61: Beat the stuffing out of Touga with shinai. He loved it. Nanami still obsessively making tea! Note to self: talk to Touga about getting her therapy.